


Please don't take my Sunshine away

by GildedFire



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: M/M, soz hinata
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-01
Updated: 2014-09-01
Packaged: 2018-02-15 19:23:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,295
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2240586
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GildedFire/pseuds/GildedFire
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"There was no build-up, or sweet goodbyes, we didn't even know until we were told at assembly in the morning that Hinata Shouyou had been run over on his bike last night on his way home."</p>
<p>http://kagehinaprompts.tumblr.com/post/91783283785/</p>
<p>A very quick oneshot based on this post yeh</p>
<p>Sorry</p>
            </blockquote>





	Please don't take my Sunshine away

The funeral was loud, funnily enough. It seemed Hinata never could stop causing a commotion wherever he went, touching everyone's heart with his stupid golden smile. It hurt, that's not hard to admit. It hurt quite a lot actually. There was no build-up, or sweet goodbyes, we didn't even know until we were told at assembly in the morning that Hinata Shouyou had been run over on his bike last night on his way home, and that they were sure the school was going to miss him dearly. I don't think the teacher speaking had ever even seen him, and half the school had later asked the question, who? It really fucking hurt.

There had been no practice that day. Well, there had been a practice, but it was more a blur of broken sobbing from Tanaka, Asahi crying silently trying to comfort Nishinoya, and Tsukkishima rubbing Yamaguchi's back as he sniffled into his shirt. Daichi and Suga were sat in the middle of the informal circle, and had given up trying to be strong after less than five minutes. Now, Suga was just lying on his back while Daichi ran a hand through his hair, both with tear tracks staining their face.

Me? I was staring at the ground on the bench. How sick was that, I couldn't even cry. Without the sun, the world just froze over. Time didn't freeze with it though.

Hinata's mother came in the next morning to our practice, and stayed composed the whole time telling us more of the details, like how it had been instant, he didn't feel any pain, about how the driver didn't even stop. She had finished with a tight smile and watering eyes, and the team had dispersed in silence after that, some crying again, while a single tear was yet to hit my cheek. I had never wished more for Tsukkishima to tell me I was a pathetic king, but apparently he couldn't even give me that sympathy. 

Life gets really cold after something like this, you know? It doesn't stop, it doesn't fucking stop going on around you, and you have to keep moving on because otherwise you'll be next. That didn't sound so bad anymore, really. It just hurt.

The funeral was a mess. The team was a mess, Hinata's family was a mess, Ukai and Takeda-sensei were mess. I was as upright and clean as ever. I thanked whatever little belief in the gods I had left that they didn't use an open casket. It already felt like someone had taken a sledgehammer and smashed my ribs with it, the shards crushing and tearing my heart, but to see his stupid face not smiling would have killed them, me, us all. Then again it seemed he already had.

I couldn't watch the casket being lowered. My head was screaming to get out, and my chest was throbbing and burning and aching. No one tried to stop me. Why didn't they hate me? They knew I hadn't cried, they fucking knew, why did they all look so sympathetic? Even Hinata's little sister - and god she looked just like him god no please - stared at me through most of the service, wide eyes filled with such concern. What the fuck was she concerned about me for, she just lost her brother but she was looking at me like I was the one who had just lost everything.

Maybe I had.

I caught the trains home. The funeral was on the other side of the mountain and my parents were too busy, but it was better to be alone anyway. I wasn't quite sure I wanted to see anyone again. My eyes burned, but it was just pain, and it always hurt but so much more now. This was it, he was gone. Gone from me forever. It shouldn't have hurt that much. It felt like I was dying.

Volleyball carried on. We lost a lot, and won a few, but our wings had been clipped. I couldn't toss right anymore. Whenever I released the ball I saw him jumping up, him with his eyes closed in that blind faith no one should have ever had in me. It hurt then too. I quit after two more months, I didn't even tell them why. I think they already knew. I saw them often around school, but whenever one tried to talk I would turn away. Tsukkishima didn't come near me again, and I wanted those insults and comments and I wanted to be told I was a useless king. But I only ever saw Tsukkishima with Yamaguchi nowadays, and he was always too focused on him to pay me any mind. It hurt, but it was sweeter than the ache.

When my mother asked me one night what Hinata's grave was like, I nearly threw up. I didn't know. I didn't know. And I didn't want to.

It got better, it got worse, it never went away. It had been months, but I still refused to go to his grave. That would mean he was forever away from me, not just gone, but irreversibly and perfectly gone. I couldn't do that. I could never do that.

I heard it on the radio walking to school. Then I heard it everywhere. The words pierced into me and ruptured my insides. People got worried again. They didn't hear the words, and I couldn't get them out of my head. I needed to go, I needed to see it. I needed to see him.

The grave was a bright white, reflecting the evening sun in a brilliant orange. I couldn't read what was on it anymore, my eyes were full, and they finally leaked in gallons onto my cheeks. I collapsed onto the now hard earth. It had never hurt more than this. I rocked on my knees, face in my hands, already so raw and ripped open. I didn't realise I was singing until a sob interrupted, a hiccup in the notes. 

You are my sunshine  
My only sunshine  
You make me happy  
When skies are gray  
You never know dear  
How much I love you  
Please don't take  
My sunshine away

The graveyard was still. Is this what happened to everyone? Was everyone forgotten in time, would Hinata's grave be left alone one day, just like all of these?

The other night dear  
As I lay sleeping  
I dreamt I held you in my arms  
When I awoke dear  
I was mistaken  
So I hung my head  
And cried

He shouldn't be forgotten, he couldn't be. People like that didn't just come around every day, and fucking hell if they did they still would never be Hinata. No one would ever be Hinata again.

You are my sunshine  
My only sunshine  
You make me happy  
When skies are gray  
You never know dear  
How much I love you  
Please don't take  
My sunshine away

I'll always love you  
And make you happy  
If only you will stay the same  
But if you leave me  
To another love  
You'll regret it all one day

I think I loved Hinata. I don't know how much, and now I never will too. But I did, and I don't know if he loved me, but I don't think that matters anymore. All I know is I loved that dumbass, and he mustn't be allowed to become another faded name in a faded place. I'd make the world remember him, I'd borrow his wings. 

You are my sunshine  
My only sunshine  
You make me happy  
When skies are gray  
You never know dear  
How much I love you  
Please don't take  
My sunshine away

Please don't take my sunshine   
Away

As soon as I've stopped crying, of course.


End file.
